Proposals

Being single in the church isn't always easy... being a single pastor brings it's own challenges- namely doing pastoral care while being hit on. I'm getting used to brushing off comments about my eyes or my smile, heck even during my interview weekend a comment was made about my legs, but this week has been particularly note-worthy. It's been the week of marriage proposals the official count for this week is 3.

• Proposal #1- I was talking to one man about his hat that he loves that says 'God is good all the time. This is most certainly true so we were having quite a lengthy conversation about why this is true for him. And another man (who for some reason brought a hiking type walking stick with him irrelevant but interesting) calls from about 5 feet away and says- hey will you finish talking to her because when you're done I'm going to propose to her. The guy I'm talking to quickly puts his arm around me and says something like no you're not she's my girlfriend. Then leads me up to one of the tables and introduces me as his girlfriend. The man with the walking stick did not forget his plan to ask for my hand and stops me as I'm headed back to my office to get something- asks if I'm going to marry him for real- to which I flippantly replied- "I think we need to get to know one another better before I can answer that" laughing
• Proposal #2- One of the young hispanic men (18 at the oldest) finds out that I speak Spanish. We chat a little bit as I'm wandering around during the meal welcoming people. After the meal he finds me and talks to me a bit more asking me what I do there- obviously the clerical collar means nothing to him- and he also proceeds to ask me if I would marry him. Seriously?!? Again
• Then came #3- Walter had come by the office on Monday looking to see if we could help him with rent money. I wasn't sure how we dealt with this type of thing, and really wasn't sure how I personally wanted to handle it- it's a delicate dance because as the church and the helper type I want to be helpful to anyone in need, but we don't have the resources to just be handing out money- nor do I want to create a reputation for just handing out money willy-nilly. So I told him I needed to talk with our financial person and if he could come back the next day I would be better able to answer him. It's also one of my ways of seeing how serious they are because if they really come back then they tend to be more serious and reliable, rather than nutty. He asked for the office phone number so he could call in case he didn't have time to make it back over. He had just separated and had kids at home. He called the office later that day almost expressly to tell me that I was gorgeous. I just thanked him and told him to get back to me in the morning to see if we could help. When he called back he again mentioned that he thought I was beautiful, and that some lucky guy right? And dernit I just don't lie well especially about guys, it's that independent part of me I guess... the No I don't need a man part! But man I wish I had a made up boyfriend really! Finally I told him I'd call him back since I wasn't sure of the logistics of getting checks. When I called him back to tell him he could come get a check to help with what we could- he asked if he could bring me roses! to which I quickly and bluntly replied- NO! and he then said, you know you drive me crazy and I'll marry you in a heartbeat if you want to... I am separated after all. All the while I'm thinking- are you kidding me?!?!? Separated is still married! You're asking me for rent money yet offering to buy me roses! Come on dude get a clue!

I guess I should feel flattered by all the compliments... but really it just makes my job a bit more awkward. At least I know there are men out there who are not intimidated by the almighty clerical collar... right? *Sigh* Just another interesting layer to my work! Oy vey!