Requests for help

This week I have had several requests for a substantial amount of help. I've grown fairly accustomed to being asked daily for help in simple ways like asking for food or to use the restroom or phone which I gladly help with. But this week there have been larger monetary requests and it's these requests for help that I'm not always sure how to respond to.

Monday was rent money, and today was a pair of women needing bus fare to Texas to see their mother who was given a month to live. I want to be helpful, but on the other hand I don't exactly want to develop a reputation for having deep pockets so to speak and have the system be abused. Both of these people are willing to work in some form or another for the money, the women offered to clean and the man needing rent offered carpentry or handy man type services. This is great and I feel less like an enabler if we can work out some sort of barter. The church could definitely use a good cleaning, and we're revamping our office space so yeah I could probably use handy man services. But what's a fair wage?? I don't want to take advantage of them either.

On top of these two requests for money I had a man needing to do 60 hours of court ordered community service asking if we had anything he could do. I hate to turn away a volunteer, but what do I ask him to do? He's a chef by trade but seems willing to do whatever I can find for him to do... one thing I would really like to have done is someone to simply wash the walls off... but is that demeaning work? Can I make this man brainstorm programming ideas with me for community service hours?? Can talking about what led him to need to do service hours in the first place count?

Whether or not to give the money or whatever is one dilemma but on top of that once I decided to provide help to the man asking for the rent money, I wanted to suggest coming to worship, but I didn't want the help to seem somehow contingent upon his attendance at worship. Like I'm trying to buy parishioners.

And ultimately I'd like to give a bit of thought to where God is at in all of this? Is it enough to simply write checks? A large part of the meals we give on Thursday is feeding the spirit as well as the body, there's always a message and prayer before the food even arrives. How can I incorporate spiritual support along with the financial support without it seeming like I'm helping 'so that'... you know so that they'll come to worship, or or what-have you. But I guess Christ died 'so that' so that we may have eternal life. Ahhh... see the dilemma?

So yeah the outcomes... I gave some rent money- community service man is coming back Wednesday to see what I've found for him to do, and the sisters... well, I haven't yet figured that one out...

Proposals

Being single in the church isn't always easy... being a single pastor brings it's own challenges- namely doing pastoral care while being hit on. I'm getting used to brushing off comments about my eyes or my smile, heck even during my interview weekend a comment was made about my legs, but this week has been particularly note-worthy. It's been the week of marriage proposals the official count for this week is 3.

• Proposal #1- I was talking to one man about his hat that he loves that says 'God is good all the time. This is most certainly true so we were having quite a lengthy conversation about why this is true for him. And another man (who for some reason brought a hiking type walking stick with him irrelevant but interesting) calls from about 5 feet away and says- hey will you finish talking to her because when you're done I'm going to propose to her. The guy I'm talking to quickly puts his arm around me and says something like no you're not she's my girlfriend. Then leads me up to one of the tables and introduces me as his girlfriend. The man with the walking stick did not forget his plan to ask for my hand and stops me as I'm headed back to my office to get something- asks if I'm going to marry him for real- to which I flippantly replied- "I think we need to get to know one another better before I can answer that" laughing
• Proposal #2- One of the young hispanic men (18 at the oldest) finds out that I speak Spanish. We chat a little bit as I'm wandering around during the meal welcoming people. After the meal he finds me and talks to me a bit more asking me what I do there- obviously the clerical collar means nothing to him- and he also proceeds to ask me if I would marry him. Seriously?!? Again
• Then came #3- Walter had come by the office on Monday looking to see if we could help him with rent money. I wasn't sure how we dealt with this type of thing, and really wasn't sure how I personally wanted to handle it- it's a delicate dance because as the church and the helper type I want to be helpful to anyone in need, but we don't have the resources to just be handing out money- nor do I want to create a reputation for just handing out money willy-nilly. So I told him I needed to talk with our financial person and if he could come back the next day I would be better able to answer him. It's also one of my ways of seeing how serious they are because if they really come back then they tend to be more serious and reliable, rather than nutty. He asked for the office phone number so he could call in case he didn't have time to make it back over. He had just separated and had kids at home. He called the office later that day almost expressly to tell me that I was gorgeous. I just thanked him and told him to get back to me in the morning to see if we could help. When he called back he again mentioned that he thought I was beautiful, and that some lucky guy right? And dernit I just don't lie well especially about guys, it's that independent part of me I guess... the No I don't need a man part! But man I wish I had a made up boyfriend really! Finally I told him I'd call him back since I wasn't sure of the logistics of getting checks. When I called him back to tell him he could come get a check to help with what we could- he asked if he could bring me roses! to which I quickly and bluntly replied- NO! and he then said, you know you drive me crazy and I'll marry you in a heartbeat if you want to... I am separated after all. All the while I'm thinking- are you kidding me?!?!? Separated is still married! You're asking me for rent money yet offering to buy me roses! Come on dude get a clue!

I guess I should feel flattered by all the compliments... but really it just makes my job a bit more awkward. At least I know there are men out there who are not intimidated by the almighty clerical collar... right? *Sigh* Just another interesting layer to my work! Oy vey!

Clerics and Jeans

I told myself when I started this blog that I wasn't going to try to go back and catch up on everything that's been going on, but this one story is too good not to post. It is by far one of my favorite moments thus far in my ministry.

Every Thursday we host a lunch where the San Fernando Valley Rescue Mission brings the food and a mobile shower so the homeless/needy can have some very basic needs met. So it was a Thursday, I was wearing my "uniform" jeans and a clerical shirt (I promise this is relevant later) and I was out mingling with the people as is my custom. I was having a conversation with two gentleman who are regulars, and mid-conversation one of the guys says to me, shouldn't you be wearing slacks rather than your Levi's? I mean that just makes more sense doesn't it?" I just laughed politely and said something like, "I'm trying to make the clerical collar look hip, don'tcha know? And truthfully I just left student life and don't have slacks yet. I'm going for casual and approachable." Yeah... something like that.

Then the other guy who we were talking to turns to him and says, "You're getting on her for wearing jeans, and you're not even wearing a shirt!" The man starts to laugh, "yeah I woke up today and couldn't find my shirt so I just came over here without one! HAHA!" So yes, I was getting my clergy fashion sense critiqued by a shirtless, scruffy, grey hairy chested old man. Classic!

Let the good times roll

I caved. Too many people have asked if I am writing about my ministry experiences to continue saying no... so I'm creating a space to share what what I'm a part of here. I hope to also use this as a forum to brainstorm and articulate ideas, share stories from the inevitable craziness that surrounds me. So welcome to my journey.

For the sake of introduction let me explain my setting. I am a newly called pastor to a very small (15 members) congregation in Southern California. A few years ago they made the very intentional decision to remain open, feeling as though they had important ministry to do in this community. I was brought on board in the last month to help the congregation become a viable ministry in the community. This is why I've deemed them "The little church that could" they are going against conventional wisdom and continuing on. In keeping with the nickname I continually say to myself in one form or another "I think I can I think I can"

This church is blessed richly by the many partner ministries operating out of our facilities. We have two other congregations using our space for worship and Lutheran Social Services also operates out of what used to be our pre-school. They do amazing work each and every day, bringing with them some very interesting and exciting ministry possibilities. Welcome- God is going to do awesome work!